Sunday, April 5, 2009

ROBSE

These are the rules...

Rules Of Banana Sticker Engagement

I have banana stickers on my lunch box. The obsessive compulsive in me insists there are the following rules for placing the stickers on my lunch box

• Stickers from bananas that I have eaten during the work day may be placed on my lunchbox.

• Only stickers from bananas consumed by me can be placed on the lunch box. (No donated banana stickers.)

• Bananas must be eaten during the work day. Those from bananas eaten on the way to or from work do not count.

• Work day is defined as the time I arrive at the office until the time I leave the office. i.e., If I stay late at night and eat a banana bearing a sticker, the sticker is eligible for placement on my lunch box. If I go into work on the weekend, and eat a banana with sticker while I'm there, the sticker is eligible even if I don't have my lunch box with me.

• Only the traditionally "edible" part of the banana need be eaten. If the banana bearing a sticker is badly bruised, the bruised part need not be eaten. More than 50% of the banana must be un-bruised in order to be eligible.

• Stickers may be removed from the banana only once I have arrived at work. Stickers may be placed on the lunch box prior to eating; however, this commits me to eating the banana before leaving the office that day. This allows for the use of the banana in Peanut Butter and Banana sandwiches, but only if the banana is peeled and prepared at the office.

• Bananas must be selected as displayed at the point of purchase. No breaking apart bunches of bananas to get only "the ones with the good stickers".

• Purchasing pre-separated (i.e. individual) bananas is acceptable.

• No more than two units of bananas may be purchased at one time. A unit is considered a banana with or without other bananas attached to it. (i.e., no more than two individual bananas may be purchased at one time)

• If a bunch of bananas is purchased, bananas must be selected from the bunch from the outside-in. If the good sticker is on the centre banana, I cannot just pull the primo banana... I must eat my way in.

• If the bunch of bananas is several bananas wide, bananas may be selected alternately from the left or the right side of the bunch. Efforts must be made to keep the bunch balanced.

• If the bunch is multiple bananas deep, the utilization of the rows of bananas must be balanced, keeping in mind to keep the bunch as a whole balanced.

• A point on balance for illustrative purposes: If the starter bunch has four bananas on the bottom and three along the top, and a banana sticker on the top centre banana, I would need to eat a minimum of three bananas before getting to the banana with a sticker. (First back left, then front left, then back left, then centre). There have been several occassions where the bananas with the good stickers have not been consumed in time, as the bananas are over-ripe before I get to them.

• Stickers from bananas given to me during the work day can be placed on my lunch box so long as the banana is consumed during the work day. It need not be consumed the save day as it was given. All above rules regarding consumption apply to ensure banana sticker eligibility.

• No additional adhesive may be used to ensure banana stickers remain on my lunch box. They must be self-secured.

• Banana stickers are to be placed on the lid of the lunch box in the sequence of consumption, starting on the upper left corner, working horizontally in rows.

• Stickers may touch one another but should not overlap.

• Other fruit stickers may be applied to my lunch box, but the above rules apply. Other fruit stickers are acceptable only on the sides of the lunch box.

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